The Morning Muse

I just finished reading the book Do it Tomorrow by Mark Forster. I had read his previous Get Everything Done and Still Have Time to Play, and liked it, so for years, I had been meaning to pick this one up too. Well, I finally read it, and it was a great wakeup call.

I expected a book filled with new games and techniques to get yourself past resistance and procrastination and into accomplishment and success. And in part, it is that. I learned a few new tricks, such as the “I’m not going to do it” technique, or “I’m just going to” technique where you essentially fool yourself into thinking “I won’t go for a run, I’ll just put on my running shoes and stand by the door,” etc. It sounds banal, but shockingly enough, it removes resistance. It turns out you’re resistant to the idea of doing something, not the individual actions that make up doing that thing.

But more than tricks, I walked away with a system: the idea of creating what Mark calls “closed lists” for tomorrow, the idea of designating a “Current Initiative,” and even a neat framework for distinguishing between projects (continuous and organizational). Continuous projects are something like “I want to get fit,” whereas organizational projects may look like DIY renovating the basement (clear end goal and shorter timeline). Organizational projects are fit for being a current initiative, whereas continuous projects are better as either scheduled in your agenda or if they take 15 minutes or less to do, added to your daily task list.

Mark clearly distinguishes between different reasons for urgency and also adds in tricks that will no doubt help improve my higher executive functioning–such as writing things down before doing them, even and especially if they’re little unplanned interruptions and impulses like “grab a coffee at Starbucks.” After writing it down, you can classify and prioritize the task and see whether you can defer it or not before doing it.

I started and finished the book today, so I haven’t had a chance to put everything into action yet, but I have to say I like the ideas he shares.

Beyond the tricks and system, and in fact above them as well, my takeaway, my main takeaway from the book is that I can’t do it all. I just don’t have the time. I realized that the primary reason I am suffering with “too much to do,” is that I actually, literally have too much to do. The things I expect to do in one day would probably be more reasonbly done in two or three.

I expect to get up and get ready, take care of my cats’ needs (clean litter boxes and sweep, wash food dishes and refill with wet/dry food, etc.), work out, shower, get dressed, get working, re-up cats, run errands, cook, clean, write on this blog, start a side hustle, fall in love, keep up with family and friends, keep up with current events, start a hobby, etc.

My expectations are completely unrealistic.

The things I expect to accomplish in one day might be more doable if I didn’t have a job! Instead, and I feel so angry about this, I have a job that I try and fail to do in 45 or 50 hours per week but that really requires 70 or 80+ hours to be done in the way I am expected to do it. I think a lot of people are in the same situation, where the expectations of their role go up without any regard for work/life balance.

I just can’t get it all done without being miserable.

The reason I decided to finally read the book is that I have been noticing recently that I feel like a robot. I’m constantly chasing my to-do list. I’m not being lazy. I’m not lazing around; it’s just one thing after another after another. And it starts to feel a little sisyphean because I’m doing the same things over and over again, at least that’s what it feels like.

And not only do I seem to live inside an endless to-do list, I’m constantly falling short despite my best efforts. I feel burned out and low energy.

Even though I knew I was trying my best, I have been fed this narrative that it’s me or that this type of hustle lifestyle, of being able to stay organized and happy in multiple fronts in life with such a demanding job is somehow normal.

There is a LOT that is not serving me at this moment, so I know there are things I need to drop. I also want to perform in my role with an exit plan in mind. As Mark says, systems may take time and effort to put into place but they repay you a thousand times over. I need systems to tackle the domestic front of my life.

My work is unfortunately non-negotiable. I can’t decide I won’t do the 50% of work I have deemed is “too much” at the moment. So where I need to cut back is time spent cooking, getting ready, getting dressed, taking care of the cats, etc. This is potentially 20-30 hours in my week that could be cut down by 60% at least. I think that would be an amazing place to start.

I might make this my next current initiative! We’ll see.

My point is that more than anything, this book has allowed me to see that there’s no getting around having set out to do more than you can reasonably do. Hustle culture is a mirage, in my opinion. I don’t know anyone doing everything themselves, with no systems or help (delegation).

Something Mark doesn’t talk about but that is also a very important concept is the distinction between time load and cognitive load. Some tasks are far more disruptive than the time it takes to do them might suggest. And those things contribute to the feeling of overwhelm and having too much to do, in my opinion.

For example, ordering out dinner every night is far more difficult than getting a meal delivery service like Factor, even if taking the meal out of the fridge and microwaving it maybe takes the same amount of time as taking out the Uber app and making an order. That’s because the cognitive load of choosing what to eat on Uber is just one more thing to do.

Decisionmaking in general is very resource intensive in terms of executive functioning and cognitive load. It’s better to have five similar sets of a personal “uniform” than to quickly decide what you’re going to wear in the morning. It may not appear to take a toll, but it’s adding more weight to your day, and doing something that you or I might not value for our lives.

Ultimately, my goal is to feel a deeper peace, and to feel like my life is organized and that I have the time to be the person I want to be. I want to stop feeling frazzled and to feel like I have down time. I want to feel like most of my day is easy! Yes, being challenged is good too, but not all day, all the time. I want to feel ease most of the time.

Tune back in for updates on how I do with all this!